We’ve all heard “timing is everything,” “good things happen to those who wait,” “patience is a virtue,” et cetera, et cetera. However, when you’re in a great relationship and are ready to be engaged and get married, it’s difficult to be patient. When you know he’s the one for you, you want to celebrate it. You want everyone to know he’s yours and you’re his. You want to get engaged as soon as possible so you can begin to plan your wedding.

The catch, however, is that he may not be eager to fast forward this process. I have a friend who can’t wait to get engaged. She talks about it all the time, dropping not so subtle hints at every opportunity. She knows he will propose. She knows they will get married, but she has a certain timeframe in her mind that doesn’t match his. How do you deal with this?

It’s important to think about the reasons: why are you in such a hurry? Why is he not in a hurry? In her case, she feels that they’ve been dating long enough and engagement is the natural progression. He doesn’t disagree, necessarily. It’s just that he would like to be in a better place financially in order to purchase an engagement ring, contribute to the cost of the wedding and to support her. Sounds reasonable, right? Yes, they could accomplish his goals together if they were engaged or married, but is it unreasonable to wait an extra 6 months, so he can feel secure about what he has to offer her now and in the future?

The point is this: don’t let him drag his feet, but don’t push him down the aisle either. It’s important to find a compromise. Talk about your expectations and decide on a timeframe that makes you both comfortable. The last thing you want is to begin your marriage with a conflict.

Becoming engaged is such a special moment that you will want to cherish, so make sure you’re both moving forward at the same pace.