You do it once and you’re never expected to do it again so there is no learning curve here.
That’s the point isn’t it? You’re committing yourself to a life of selfless mutual consideration and commitment to the one you love, so if in your society the wedding is the deal, then it would make perfect sense to make it memorable, but memorable that does not grow old in five years. CB has decided it is time to wean ourselves from our barely instinctive macho-chisic ways and embrace our role…if it would prevent another groom from walking up the aisle with a peach satin tuxedo shirt to match the peach table clothes at the hall, then our job would be complete. Take these two points of advice from us, they could make you a better man and a better groom.
Your tux or suit
Whatever your choice, stick to traditional looks. All of you know one guy who got married in the 20 button suit with tails and a cravat. Nothing ages faster than the trendy wedding looks – this lifetime commitment deserves a prudent choice; one that compliments your beautiful bride, and respects time and its cruel judgment to fad choices.
No responsible gentleman should leave the choice of any element of his wedding suiting to his wife to be – your choices vary between black, negro and noir suits or tuxes, with the occasional variation for the wedding on the beach during summer, in which case you can play with whatever theme you wish – within good taste.
There is also no obligation for you to attempt to match your shirt, or vest, or tie, or shoes, or even pocket square with anything to do with the bridesmaids’ dresses, the flowers in the church, or any other piece of decoration.
The speech
This may be the only time in your life that you would have an audience that is primed to hear you speak. Possibly the only time your words would be deemed significant or memorable. If the only advice you take from us is this, prepare well for your speech; research and understand your role with regards to the traditional groom’s address.
Come on guys, embrace your role not out of obligation, or by sentence, but understand that if society expects you to adopt the traditional reluctant figure of the groom, then you should also expect to do other ancient things like present the soiled bridal trousseau to your mother to prove your wife’s chastity before the wedding night.
And one final note…keep tight reins on your best man and the freedom he is allowed. There are many cases where a best-man can ruin a perfectly good event with an incorrect expectation of the need to be comedic or embarrassing.
AK