- Wear your new cotton pajamas instead of your sultry silky lingerie when you spend the holidays at her house.
- Compliment her on her new vibrant blue hair colour. Blue is the new black!
- Marvel at her special talent for matching loud, floral print tops to plaid skirts.
- Tell her you were glad you waited until your wedding night.
- Agree to let her “fatten you up” on those days you wish you’d really worked your butt off in the gym.
- Let her name your first born only if she agrees to pay for the years of therapy your child may suffer with a name like Sherocius.
- Program a reminder into your Blackberry to call her every other Thursday night – after Grey’s Anatomy, of course – just for a chat.
- Have lunch catered with her favourite dishes so you won’t feel bad when she criticises your “cooking”.
- Only shop at Budget Mart when you go shopping with her.
- Remember to call her “Mom” whenever you’re in her presence rather than “Monster-in-Law” or “the evil one.”