10 Ways to Impress Your Mother-in-Law

  1. Compliment her on her new vibrant blue hair colour. Blue is the new black!
  2. Wear your new cotton pajamas instead of your sultry silky lingerie when you spend the holidays at her house.
  3. Marvel at her special talent for matching loud, floral print tops to plaid skirts.
  4. Tell her you were glad you waited until your wedding night.
  5. Agree to let her “fatten you up” on those days you wish you’d really worked your butt off in the gym.
  6. Let her name your first born only if she agrees to pay for the years of therapy your child may suffer with a name like Sherocius.
  7. Program a reminder into your Blackberry to call her every other Thursday night – after Grey’s Anatomy, of course – just for a chat.
  8. Have lunch catered with her favourite dishes so you won’t feel bad when she criticises your “cooking”.
  9. Only shop at Budget Mart when you go shopping with her.
  10. Remember to call her “Mom” whenever you’re in her presence rather than “Monster-in-Law” or “the evil one.”